Here is a strong book recommendation regardless of which religion you subscribe to (or whether you are an atheist or agnostic). Agreements and disagreements with what this man says aside, I promise you one thing: By the end of the book you will be touched that someone so innocent and guile free lived amongst us.
A few remarks are important to bear in mind:
1. This is a record of conversations between a saint and his disciples in the late 19th century in conservative Bengal. Most of his interactions were with conservative Bengalis and references to caste were unavoidable in those days. But it is an established fact that Shri Ramakrishna actively discouraged caste distinctions and spoke against untouchability. Even today, the temple that was his home (Dakshineshwar) as well as his personal room there are open to everyone who wishes to visit.
2. A large part of this book is a record of conversations between Shri Ramakrishna and his male monastic disciples. You will thus hear him being very firm about abstinence from sex and living a life of minimal means. Being a salt of the Earth personality, his way of expressing this was simply: Renounce "woman and gold". Female disciples received their instruction from Shri Ramakrishna's wife, Sarada Devi, who was equally firm about staying away from "men and gold" to female monastic disciples.
However, their instruction and advice to normal folks like us who might be in a relationship or marriage, is obviously different! We are encouraged to steadily move beyond our craving for sex and relate to our partner or spouse more deeply in time. I personally think this is valuable advice! When I see folks who are frail in old age still craving sex, I feel sad for them. That's a clear sign that mental and intellectual growth stopped at some point. By then one has seen a naked woman or man and had sex 100s of times! Its time to move on to something higher instead of repeating an act again and again! I mean, imagine teens and adults playing with toy trains instead of moving on from childhood as expected in normal human growth! And the mental preparation for being "above the craving for sex" in old age obviously has to start earlier, say in the 50s. For most of us sex is a strong craving and it will take some time to loosen its grip on our minds and let go.
Likewise with money: No saint has ever spoken against earning money honestly and living a decent, comfortable, life in the world. But every saint (a) discourages greed and excessive attachment to wealth and (b) encourages us to practice charity to the best of our ability and help uplift the downtrodden. Shri Ramakrishna is no different.
3. Shri Ramakrishna's personal path to enlightenment was Bhakti Yoga (the path of devotion). Now if you are more inclined towards the other paths (Gyaan Yoga (path of knowledge), Karma Yoga (path of action), Raj Yoga (path of meditation)), that's certainly your choice! But you'll still gain wisdom from him.
4. It's perfectly fine to agree on some points and disagree on others. He openly respected and encouraged a questioning attitude. Just make sure you are sincere with your questions, agreements and disagreements. That's all any saint worth his or her salt expects.
I hope you enjoy meeting a really sweet human being in these pages as much as I have ☺️!
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