The Futility Of "You Should Not Get Angry"

Let's consider different aspects of anger systematically:

Firstly: If someone shouts at you meaninglessly or behaves with you abusively because of his/her tendency to get angry unnecessarily, or inability to control anger, then simply tell them to seek help and sort things out and walk away from them. Maybe psychological counseling will help them, maybe meditation, maybe both. But you are certainly under no obligation to continue getting hurt on someone else's account.

However, I have also seen people behave in a manner that provokes anger in others and then try to give "moral advice" on top of that 😅: "It is not good to get angry".

This is unacceptable too. If you want others to hold themselves accountable for their emotions, you need to hold yourself accountable for your conduct first. Of course, some people get excessively angry over simple unintentional mistakes and that's incorrect on their part. But if you know that you do something that provokes anger in someone else, then you need to stop doing it. You need to take responsibility for this. You cannot be sitting and pointing fingers without doing your own homework first 😅.

And if you are the one being provoked into anger: Be alert! Observe and be clear about why you are feeling anger. There are some situations in which a certain amount of measured, controlled, anger does have a role to play and I discuss this below. But it can also happen that you are being deliberately provoked into anger by some people because that suits their agendas.  Don't play into people's hands. One of the easiest ways to get manipulated is to let someone push your buttons. Never let anyone make you lose control and speak and act in a manner that disadvantages you.

Then there's a whole another dimension: "Getting angry is incorrect in itself", "Those who meditate should not get angry", etc. etc. etc.

A certain amount of measured, controlled, anger certainly has its time and place. I want criminals to fear a honest police force's anger. I want corrupt officials to fear their supervisors' anger. I want undisciplined students to fear their teachers' anger. And I want honest police officials, supervisors and teachers to have the ability to direct their anger in an effective, controlled, manner. Reprimanding and scolding is ok when necessary. Disciplinary action is ok when necessary. And after the necessary action is taken, it's important to have the ability to drop the anger. Don't keep it burning within and hurt yourself.

At the end of the day, anger is an emotion like all other emotions. It is absolutely meaningless to say that "one should not get angry".

The point is to avoid unnecessary anger and seek psychological/meditative/spiritual help if anger rises unnecessarily. Likewise, we need to be able to keep our anger in control instead of letting anger control us. Again, if we are unable to do this, we seek psychological/meditative/spiritual help. It is also important that we don't allow ourselves to be provoked into anger by people who seek to manipulate us by pushing our buttons.

But to feel a reasonable amount of anger in the face of injustice and indiscipline and to be able to direct it into suitable action as necessary - and then let the anger go, to not keep it lingering on within us - I think that's quite normal. And, in my opinion, far better than suppressing it.