It's *Your* Life!

There are certain decisions in life that have to be *yours*: What you want to study, your profession, your romantic partner / spouse, the spiritual path you choose, ... These are significant decisions in life and you have to have the independence and courage to make these choices on your own terms.

If some family members, parents, or friends wish to offer you advice, allow them once. Only once. Listen to them attentively, think about their advice carefully and honestly, and then come to your own conclusions using your own intelligence. Sometimes you may find the advice useful, at other times you may disagree. Both are fine as long as you are clear that you have made your choices with your own intelligence.

Sometimes people are unable to understand when you disagree with their advice. If they come back to advise again, tell them politely, affectionately, but firmly that you have considered their advice and are clear about what you want.

Does such an approach of taking one's decisions independently and taking responsibility for them involve some risk? Yes, of course! Sometimes we may encounter difficulties, sometimes things may not work out as we expect. So what? We need to have the courage to face difficulties and challenges. Better to live a life of courage on our own terms than keep playing safe and not do what we want to do in our lives.

Look around you: 90% of people have no enthusiasm about what they are doing with their lives. Nothing beautiful or creative or deeply intelligent has come from our country for a long long time. This is because most people have chosen their professions without any consideration to their interests, often without even having thought about what interests them. Worse, others have chosen for them many times! Nothing great can happen this way.

Likewise with marriages. Just look carefully: At least 60-70% marriages around you are loveless compromises. It's a joke! We had the tradition of Swayamvar : literally: to choose one's var (partner) swayam (oneself).

All this has to change. We need to start making our choices consciously and independently. Advice is welcome once, and we think about it carefully and honestly, but decisions have to be ours and people need to learn to accept our independence.

[But yes, with independence comes responsibility! We have to take complete responsibility for our decisions and their consequences. We cannot want independence but hold others responsible for how our lives turn out. That would be hypocrisy.]