Tuesday 17 September 2024

Self Respect in the Global Village

This was in Summer 2006. I was on a one way ticket back from the USA to start my academic career in India. We had a paper accepted at a conference in Germany around the same time and my post doctoral supervisor suggested that I stop over at Munich to present it on the way.

Online applications for visas had just started around then and I started to fill out the required form for a Schengen Visa. Something was going wrong, the form kept getting stuck at some point repeatedly and I had to restart the form from scratch every time. I honestly did try but when I faced the same problem multiple times, I decided to fill the form offline, take a printout of the filled form, attach hard copies of all required documents, and try and resolve the issue at the embassy.

Rented a car, drove the five hours of driving to Chicago, waited my turn, and eventually got to the interview booth. The lady at the counter was super nice. She understood the difficulties I was facing, gave me a copy of a "help points sheet" and asked me to just come back after I had completed filling the online application. I asked her if there was any way to proceed with the hardcopy I had brought because that was fully filled and had all required attachments - and I had driven in five hours for the interview! She smiled, and again, very courteously explained to me that she wouldn't be able to process my application without the online formalities completed.

So far so good.

Then suddenly this man comes out from the office behind her and snaps at me very rudely (and unnecessarily because the lady had explained the situation already) about asking the questions I asked and making the request I made. I didn't like the way I was being spoken to but as a first instinct I just shrugged my shoulders, thanked the lady, and said I would come back with a fresh appointment in a few days.

But when I was downstairs and just about exiting the premises, I made a decision that I still respect myself for. I went back up, told the lady very politely that while I appreciated her interaction with me, the gentleman had left a very poor impression of her country in my mind and I would not be stopping over.

I flew straight home.

There's a lesson here. During one's education or when it's a matter of earning the family's bread and butter, one puts up with poor behavior occasionally because that's just how the world is. Some folks are sensible and some are idiots. But short of such "essential circumstances", I refuse to let anyone dent my self respect. No way!

I had done the research that was going to be presented at a conference they were hosting and I was going to spend my money in their country! They were in a position of complete gain! There was no "charity" involved on their part! And yet that man couldn't be polite about such a simple thing! And if that was the behavior I encountered before even setting foot in their country, why would I expect better behavior inside?

This is a lesson I gladly pass on to others as well! Unless something essential is on the line and you have no choice but to put up with a bit of nonsense, never ever ever let anyone put you down. Never. Be steady where you are, be firm about who you are, do your work, live a good life, love your loved ones deeply, be happy. This much is enough. Then if you are respectfully welcomed in other parts of the world, go by all means. Else, just forget about it. It's unnecessary.

No comments:

Post a Comment