All of us have our little quirks, eccentricities and minor irritabilities, and if we know that the person is well meaning, well intentioned, all of us accommodate, all of us grin these off in the larger interest of friendships, relationships, professional associations.
At the same time, I tend to disagree with the notion of "infinite forgiveness" as being a positive trait to develop. Forgiveness is good, and important, but only to a reasonable extent. Here's my personal balance point on this:
If someone says/does something to hurt/offend me, and subsequently offers a sincere, heartfelt apology, I forgive easily - the first time 🙂. There are times I've made mistakes in my life and I understand that there is merit to realizing one's mistakes, apologizing for the same, and making an effort to correct oneself. If I see all this, forgiveness comes easily to me.
As I said: The first time 🙂. IF the other person has realized his/her mistake, apologizes for it, and makes efforts to correct himself/herself 🙂.
But if this person again says/does something to hurt/offend me, all forgiveness ends. It simply ends.
To forgive or not is a choice we are free to make, there is no moral obligation towards any external authority that we need to feel burdened with. And once I am clear that I'm choosing to not forgive, the very next step I take is to safeguard myself. I excuse myself from this person's company and create a distance. If I have been offended at my workplace, I'll keep my professional decorum but will no longer interact with this person unless absolutely necessary. If it's a friend who has offended, I make other friends - this time choosing more wisely 🙂, and spend time with them. I will distance myself from this person immediately. If it's a woman I'm in a relationship with, I will immediately break up and walk away.
It is important to realise that "not forgiving" does not mean to "continue in a state of anger or hatred" or to "do something foolish in revenge and get oneself into trouble". No. To choose to not forgive simply means to remove the burden of "being infinitely forgiving" from one's shoulders, step away from whoever has hurt us, ensure that our mind is at peace, and continue to live a happy fulfilling life.
When to forgive, when not, to what extent, these are our choices to make. Just like every other choice in life that's ours to make 🙂.
Stay sensible, stay happy 🙂!
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