A Question of Worthiness

Today is the sixteenth anniversary of 26/11, and I feel restless again. It's not just the memories of that particular day. It's no longer just the anger I felt at the irresponsibility and shamelessness displayed by our media in providing "live coverage" that probably diluted the effectiveness of our military's operation and cost us more innocent lives. It's not just the mix of sadness and pride I felt when I heard of the sacrifices of Police ATS Chief Hemant Karkare, Additional Commissioner Ashok Kamte, Assistant Sub-Inspector Shri Tukaram Gopal Ombale, Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan and others, including the staff at Taj, who made the ultimate sacrifice: they gave up their very lives to save others. So many more brave men and women have made this ultimate sacrifice since then and so many earlier - each an expression of complete selflessness and sacrifice so that all of us can live our lives and fulfill our aspirations. These sacrifices stare unblinkingly at me, they force me to introspect, and several thoughts that probably lurked in the recesses of my mind surface, collide with each other, and eventually crystallize into one single question, a question that continuously haunts...

As the 26/11 drama unfolded publicly, I wondered to myself: what might be the spectrum of personalities that were at the Taj that night? One has to be seriously rich or seriously well connected to afford a stay at that hotel. And though I admit it may be rather unfair, my own middle class upbringing combined with observations of most who qualify as "rich and mighty" makes me view the elite and wealthy with a hint of suspicion - their mode of wealth creation, their priorities, their culture, their humanity... There are exceptions surely: those who have earned their riches with integrity, through a tremendous application of the will and unceasing dedication; those who have not snatched from another's plate or exploited others to fill their coffers; those who have uplifted all around them in their upward journey to the stars. But in my observation and experience such exceptions are few and far between. Compromises, corruption, exploitation, sycophancy and perhaps a large chunk of luck seem to be the stepping stones for most others. Quite probably a sizeable section of the guest list at the Taj that night were from this second category. I wonder...have these people lived a life worthy of someone else's?

But the issue is not just about the rich and their worthiness. The issue is not just about what happened that night at the Taj. 26/11 was a resounding slap on our face that jolted us out of our stupor. One of the reasons it had such a strong effect on us is that we have become insensitive to the sacrifices being made by our armed forces almost on a daily basis. Ever awake, ever alert, unmindful of what it costs them, thousands and thousands of jawans and officers protect our borders while putting their own lives at stake; accepting each challenge without a murmur of complaint, braving the elements: from the Himalayas to the Thar desert, out on the rocky seas and up high above in the skies.

These heroes have made their choice: the choice to sacrifice themselves for one and all without any bias or judgment. The cost they bear does not distinguish between upright citizens and thieves and robbers, a few noble political leaders who work selflessly for their country's progress and development and the innumerable corrupt politicians who are unapologetically and callously squeezing the very blood from this country's veins to serve their own self-interests, teachers who educate and enlighten and the increasingly misled youth who are going astray and putting immediate indulgence and short term pleasures above their commitment to evolving into worthy members of a society that is civilized in the true sense of the word.

But this does pose a dilemma for our conscience, does it not? And I don't mean to use the word "our" in an abstract sense. I mean very specifically each and every one of us - including me and you. Are we living a life that is worthy of someone else willing to sacrifice his or hers? Sacrifices are meant to be made for things that are great and noble. Are we living great lives? Noble lives? Perhaps not.

Forget greatness and nobility actually. Let's talk of simple things first. Do we even practice a bare minimum set of human values that would qualify us as a civilized society? Are we honest? Do we do our jobs sincerely and without any element of corruption? Are we courteous and polite with the people we interact with everyday? Do we treat each other with a sincere sense of respect? Do we respect and honor our women? Do we take care of our elders in their old age? Do we appreciate the efforts of those who provide services to us - the rickshaw-wallah, the maid servant, janitorial staff, the post man, the staff at our banks, the railway ticket window staff, ticket checkers - and thank them for the same? Do we treat those who are less fortunate than us with compassion and do what we can to help alleviate their misery? These are some of the basic behavioral patterns anyone would expect to see in a civilized society. To be frank, I don't see enough of this happening.

Then comes the issue of self respect and respect for our country. It is all very well to sing the National Anthem twice a year. But what do we really mean when we thump our chests and pronounce ourselves "Indians"? Do we simply mean we hold an Indian passport? Or is there really an Indian-ness that is unique to us, a cultural identity that we express with pride? Globalization and personal tastes aside, are we proud of our culture, our heritage, our art, our music, our languages, our philosophy, our values? Do we treat our fellow country men and women with as much respect as we treat foreigners? Are we ambassadors of our identity as a country to the rest of the world? Or are we desperate for acknowledgment and appreciation from the outside?

Please understand one thing clearly: If all that arises in your mind when I use the terms culture and heritage are negatives such as casteism, untouchability, the way widows were treated, etc. then you just don't know our culture and heritage well enough. Every part of the world has had negative aspects in its history. So did we and we are continuously correcting ourselves. But we have tremendous beauty and positivity in our culture and heritage as well. And we have every right to feel proud of who we are and express ourselves confidently on the world stage.

Unless we treat each other as our own, behave accordingly and live lives of the highest integrity and dignity, unless we are comfortable with who we are and take pride in our identity, unless we truly believe that we, as an independent country, will collectively shape our destiny in our own unique way, based on ideals that we believe in and aspirations that will make us truly happy, do we really deserve that we be protected at the cost of so many lives?

Yet, those who have sworn to protect us continue their vigil unceasingly without asking us any of these questions, without placing any demands on us. That's quite something, isn't it?

You see...its a question of worthiness.

Are we worthy? Worthy of someone sacrificing his or her life so that we may live ours? This is an important question in my opinion and calls for honest introspection. And if the answer is in the negative, maybe its time to start changing for the better.

The Myth of the American/European Dream

When I went to the USA in 1995 for graduate studies, it was for three reasons: (1) an opportunity to study at some of the world's best universities, (2) I got a scholarship (I hail from a normal middle class family and wouldn't have gone otherwise) and (3) for the  adventure of it all - new country, new people from across the world, new experiences.

In my eleven years there (MS, PhD, Postdoc), I met many awesome people (and a few jerks - which is perfectly normal, they are everywhere) and still have active friendships in the US and other parts of the world. I respected people around me and carried myself with an equal measure of self respect. At no point I felt "overly eager" or "desperate" to stay on in the US. It's important to have a dream, a goal, in life - but there's no reason for it to be an "American Dream" or "European Dream" or whatever - the world's a big place with tremendous charm and variety all around!

I see a lot of people continuously affected/perturbed by policy shifts in the US (or elsewhere) as if our lives and happiness depend fundamentally on any one region of the world. This is a display of a very low level of self respect and not cool. The whole world is certainly open and I encourage the concept of a global citizenship by all means, but go anywhere only if you are received with respect - not otherwise.

Chill out! Keep your self respect intact, your skills and knowledge super sharp, and make positive contributions only and only where and with those you feel respected.

Spines straight and chins up!

Movie recommendation: Mr. Holland's Opus (1995)

This is one of those movies that touches me every time I see it - for a somewhat unusual reason - it got the entire messaging wrong! Here are a few thoughts from my side, yours when you watch the movie:

1) Mr. Holland, an aspiring composer, doesn't find time to complete a symphony he's working on as he's expected to continuously work overtime by the school where he teaches music appreciation. Towards the end of the movie, he is told that although he couldn't complete his composition, the students he has taught and nurtured are his symphony.

This is a very very flawed argument. The concept of a 40 hour week was created for a reason! People have their personal lives above and beyond work and they have all the right to pursue their personal dreams once work hours are over. This understanding needs to be firm at every workplace. In the context of this movie: When someone carries beautiful music (or some other form of knowledge) within, conditions have to be created for that music (knowledge) to come out. There is no glory in that not happening! Teaching responsibilities can very well be brought to balance if more wisdom prevails.

2) Even with his tremendous contribution that earned him the above praise, he is "let go" along with the arts teacher because of funding constraints. The entire music, arts and dramatics program is cut because the city reduces the budget for schools.

Now, any sensible educator will tell you that arts are as important in school education as mathematics, science and other subjects. Some kids grow up to be novelists, some musicians, some mathematicians, scientists and engineers. All these pursuits are equally important in an educated society. If there is a funding constraint, then, starting from the principal, salaries can be reduced for all teachers! A school principal making such a choice is a disgrace. Of course, the bigger disgrace is school budgets reducing instead of increasing!

As Mr. Holland, the music teacher being let go, remarks: "If you cut the arts, sooner or later these kids aren't going to have anything to read or write about."

He's right.

3) There is a logical flaw at the end of the movie: The lady who showers the praise mentioned in Point 1 above on him is an ex-student of his who has grown to hold a very important position in the city administration. If she feels so strongly about his contribution through teaching, she very well could have used her power to find the funds required to keep him and the arts teacher (instead of them getting dumped!).

It's an excellent movie! Pick it up if you haven't seen it already 🙂! You will see a brilliant man with a heart of gold getting chewn to bits by a thankless society and false ideals 😏!

Consolidate. Unite. Express.

As you read this post, bear in mind that I have already spoken against making Hindi compulsory in schools or/and offices around the country. I'm educated enough to know that we are a nation of tremendous variety - languages, philosophical systems, religions - and every freedom must be maintained to allow all variety to express itself and thrive.

Yet, I understand the need for symbolism. And I believe what I'm saying is important:

Below is a picture of our capital, Nai Dilli (New Delhi), Railway Station. On the top, the name of the station is displayed in three languages: Hindi, English and Urdu. I think we ought to make the following two changes:

1. Add the name in two more languages: Gurmukhi (the primary language of the Sikhs) and Pali (the primary language of Buddhists).

2. Order them in such a way that the Hindi script (Nai Dilli) is in the center and the English script (New Dilli - not Delhi (anglicized)) is on the extreme right. (Using English as the medium of instruction in schools and colleges is a practical necessity as it helps our students engage with the world at large easily - but giving it any "central importance" anywhere is just an immature lack of self respect.)

We consolidate, we unite, we express our identity on the world stage with confidence. This is important. Very important.

What Is Kumbh Mela Really About?

If you live a life of character, integrity, honesty and steadily work on bringing your senses and mind under your control, the Ganga, the spiritual river, will flow outwards from within you (that's the significance of Ganga flowing out from Lord Shiva's head) and will purify you and uplift those around you spiritually.

The Kumbh mela historically has been a spiritual conference that brought together people making a spiritual effort once every twelve years to discuss and share their realisations, discoveries, efforts and practices. And during the conference everyone took a dip in the Ganges every morning to affirm their commitment and start the day. Our immense spiritual literature, the Vedas, the Upanishads, the Six Darshanas, is a testament to this culture and effort.

It has never been about just going to take a dip in the river to wash away your sins vagairah vagairah. If you're living a sinful life and believe that just taking a dip in the Ganges and paying some pandas and pujaris will save you, then you are not just sinful, you are also stupid.

The only way, absolutely the only way, to save yourself and progress spiritually is to change yourself.

There is no other way.

Righteousness Above All Else

Always remember: Your first and foremost commitment is towards what is righteous.

This commitment supersedes every other commitment: your country's political and administrative leadership, society, superiors at work, and if they are being unethical, then even your family, your parents, your relatives, your teachers or your Guru. Even when it comes to religious scriptures, if your conscience, your inner sense of right and wrong, makes you feel that something is wrong with what the scripture says, you have to respect your conscience and do what you feel is the right thing to do 

Read the Bhagawad Gita. Understand Arjuna's predicament.

He enters the battlefield to fight a righteous war and finds himself facing his elders, his teachers, his relatives, his fellow countrymen. He wants to quit.

Krishna says: Nothing doing! A just war has to be fought, no matter who is in the opposition.

You and I don't have to fight wars. But we must have the courage to call a spade a spade. If someone is being unethical, unrighteous, no matter who it is, we have to be able to speak our minds and oppose them.

If we can do this, we become the backbone of an ethically just and sound family, society and country.

If not, we only make things worse. We live what I call woogly woogly weak spirited lives ourselves and allow others to do the same.

Ultimately righteousness has to win. Whichever individual, family, society, country, aligns itself with righteousness, it enjoys the support of the divine. There is no "mine" and "others'" leeway allowed in this :).

In fact, righteousness is the correct translation of the word Dharma. The usage of the word Dharma for religion is completely flawed.

Living a Dharmic life means being ethically correct and righteous moment to moment, day to day. And this is our highest commitment. To live Dharmic lives ourselves, to support those who live Dharmic lives, and oppose those who don't.

Where's the pride in calling oneself backward?

As you read this post, bear in mind that: 1) I hail from a family that has seen its share of struggles; sleeping on railway platforms, traveling in unreserved compartments, four people staying in one room; and 2) I've been known to be anything but a casteist/classist at work or elsewhere.

This was in 2011. I was chairing the Senate Under Graduate Committee (SUGC) at IIT Kanpur, a body that essentially oversaw the academic administration of all UG students. One unfortunate, yet essential, task was to make decisions on which students to put on warning or probation. And for some students who kept performing below par despite all nudges, assistance, warnings and probation, it would come down to making a decision on whether it was best to ask them to leave IITK and join some other college, or in case of severely extenuating circumstances like health concerns or family emergencies, give them more time to recover to acceptable academic standards.

In one such meeting we were explaining to a student and his father that there was no way we could keep the student on. He had some 15-20 backlogs with no extenuating circumstances, had been through the warning-probation period (which lasts at least one full year and is usually extended), and just had to go.

Eventually when all discussions and arguments led nowhere, the father stood up and spoke belligerently: "Ham backward hain, backward! Aap hamein nahi nikaal sakte!"

Now this is certainly not true. Students under affirmative action get extra leeway at the time of admission, but once they are in the college, they are expected to clear courses like everyone else. And if someone's academic performance falls too low, he or she has to go regardless of forward/backward/caste/class. And eventually, the student and his father had to, very correctly, accept this.

But what left me stunned was the sheer arrogance with which the father said "ham backward hain!".

Truth be told, the sentiment should exactly be the opposite! Extreme poverty aside (which is the real backwardness in society), if anyone calls you backward for reasons of birth or community, every fiber in your being should rebel with a "kaun kehta hai ham backward hain aur aap forward? ham bhi utne hee forward hain jitne aap! koi kami nahi hai ham mein!"

This shift needs to come in our society. Thinking of oneself, calling oneself, or allowing anyone else to call one backward is psychologically denting! Your whole approach to life becomes negative. You have decided stay on the backfoot unnecessarily.

No! Step forward! Make your presence felt! Work hard, do the best you can, and then let the chips fall where they may!

[Extreme poverty of course is a different matter! We must go the extra mile to help students coming from severely poor families regardless of their caste, class, religion or gender.

Note: My views on combatting backwardness effectively are here: https://strike-a-pause.blogspot.com/2022/10/a-four-point-algorithm-to-combat.html ]